Leaving The Familiar – Narrative Reflection

Source: Tumblr

For six years I worked in the same local retail store. Everything there was very familiar to me, the customers, the workers, clock-in, clock-out. It wasn’t until I decided to leave to focus on my second job, that my very familiar safety blanket was taken away.

While I knew my time had come (like an overly ripe banana that is now attracting fruit flies), I was still scared to no longer have that job as my safety net. The job I moved onto is in the field I am studying, had a great work environment, challenged me and even got me excited for Mondays… So why was it hard for me to leave the job that I dreaded behind?

Externalising conversations involves the recollection of an experience in order to name actions and values that are understood, by separating the person from the problem.

Source: Reddit – Retail Persona

My retail job made me feel like I knew what I was doing, and I knew how to measure my success. Did the customer leave happy, did you correctly count the money in the draw, did you crisply fold that mound of scrunched clothes?

While my new job made me question myself more. Did I say the right thing, do they think I am too young and inexperienced, am I the right person for the job? This sudden change in experience made me feel like I had imposter syndrome, as a constantly questioned whether or not my boss knew my experience level, or if she got my resume jumbled up.

I knew this transition was going to be hard, but I also knew the only way to overcome it was through my perception of it.

“Once problems are externalised they can then be put into story-lines.”

Carey and Russell, 2002

While my new job made me question myself more, it wasn’t because I wasn’t capable of doing it, it was because I cared about it more. Or the only reason why my old job felt like a safety blanket was because I was there for so long that I felt confident in what I was doing, not because I was meant to stay there.

By ripping off the bandaid (the bandaid being retail) I was able to dedicate more time to my new job, and realise that being in a role that made me feel inexperienced was really just an indication that the role would allow me to learn, grow and improve.

While I knew I was backed by my family, friends and workplace to make this change, I can realise that the only person that was holding back was me. “De-centring” (Carey & Russell, 2002) this issue meant I could reflect on how although it is important to be mindful and considered when making changes, the only reason why I was questioning myself is because this new job was really important to me.

This is something that I believe is evident in other areas of my life, as my decision making often involves considering many aspects of the situation. But I believe it has made me quite a thoughtful person, so although I can be stuck in the “what if” spiral, I know that I am able to talk through choices and possibilities to reach decisions. So in an industry where I am required to not only plan for the future but think on the spot, I am grateful for this considered approach.

By participating in externalising conversations I was able to focus into this change and how it reflected on me as not only a worker but an individual. Michael White (2007) noted that “By encouraging the recollection of significant, forgotten details, it seeks to generate more nuanced accounts of people’s lives, enabling them to consider wider ranges of possibilities for the future.” This was really important to me when externalising this disruption, as changing jobs seems like a straightforward process, from one chapter to another, but by delving into my experience I could self reflect on how my ability to make considered choices could also create an environment of self doubt.

According to Michael White (2007), externalising a conversation involves developing accounts of what they intend for their lives. So instead of focusing on how I continued to question myself, I chose to focus on how my ability to make thoughtful decisions has helped me in the workplace, and is a value that will assist me in times of change for the rest of my life.

This experience-near narrative allowed me to “de-centre” the issues I faced during disruption, as I could recognise how they were created. As when externalising a conversation you can explain “what you wish to do away with” (my hesitations and self-doubt) whilst “retaining abilities” (my thoughtful considered approach to decision making)(Carey & Russell, 2002).

Michael White (2005) specifically encourages the enquiry into the imposing “nature of self-talk” when externalising conversations. This was essential to narrative self-development, as it was only when I put myself back into that experience that I could recall how it initially inhibited my ability to back myself.

Resources:

Carey, M & Russell, S (2002) “Narrative therapy: Responding to your questions” The International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work, 2002 No.2, 

White, M (2005) “Michael White Workshop Notes” Dulwich Centre, pp.2-4

White, M (2007) “Maps of narrative practice” W W Norton & Co.

Self-Reflection of Comments for BCM 215 Beta

Josephine’s Pantone Games

During week 10 we discussed the affect of games and  how they are able to produce cognitive processes. This is why I recommended the source “The Impact of Visual Properties on Player Habits and Game Sessions” as it discusses the automatic brain functions that are impacted by visuals such as color and contrast within a game. This research would be a good source for Josephine to use in her analytical framework, as it includes her study of colour and visuals alongside the discussion of game designers and their intentions. Similarly to the lecture discussions surrounding the involuntary reaction that occurs from the stimulation of visual sensors when playing a video game from Massumi’s (2002) “Parable for the Virtual” , the use of colour and contrast can immediately signal players to search for items making it easier for players to use their natural reflexes demonstrated in the game Candy Crush. 

 Another recommendation I made was directly related to Jospehine’s DA, as I thought her style of content would work well as a TikTok or Instagram Reel. Since she is already experimenting with the style of content she is posting this format suggestion may be helpful to consider. 

This comment allowed me to research how visuals affect players, which can also be applied to the analysis of my video game Cooking Mama. In the comment I directly referenced that the source “The Impact of Visual Properties on Player Habits and Game Sessions” uses the example of Candy Crush, which Josephine is exploring in her DA. So without having to read the entire study she is able to engage with its research. This is also why I provided a link to the TikTok, as describing the format of a video is good but showing an actual video is better to understand the suggestion that I am making. Since the first round of comments I believe I have provided Josephine with more useful resources, as they can be more easily applied to her work without having to compromise on the work she is already doing. 

Paige’s ScapeVScape

Paige has already demonstrated that the RuneScape’s modality will be a big part of her analytical framework, so I wanted to provide her with sources that would compliment this research. The impact of “content, mechanism and interface” on “player engagement and continuous game-play” aims to expand on discussions from the week 10 lecture on affect being modulated, specifically the reading “Histories of internet games and play: space, technique, and modality” (2017). This reading points out how massively multiplayer role-playing games (such as RuneScape) shifted their player base to Internet play. Internet play allows for mechanisms such as constant updates to the game, while supporting the original PC styled graphics. 

This research was done so that my comment offered suggestions on additional sources that would be useful to the research that she is already conducting, as since this is the beta I wanted my suggestions to assist her work, not steer her in a different direction. Therefore Paige’s clear direction for her analytical framework was best engaged by following a similar line of research. This is different from my first round of comments, as previously I provided Paige with a video game example and video clip to simply help her generate some examples to explore in her final analysis, but now it is clear that she has created a clear and concise plan for her DA.  

Although originally I was not familiar with RuneScape 3 or Old School RuneScape, after watching Paige’s pitch and exploring some web pages dedicated to the game, it was clear to see how player’s gaming experience could be impacted through modality, technique, spatiality and this becomes even more evident when comparing OSRS and RS3 side by side.  

Yidi’s Animal Crossing

As Yidi immerses herself in the world of Animal Crossing it is clear she has a great personal understanding of the game, as well as the audience that surrounds it. This is why I offered two sources that she might be able to use to back up her analyses surrounding Animal Crossing and Covid, as they both mention specific statistics. The BBC article “Animal Crossing boosts Nintendo sales” details the number of units sold of both Animal Crossing New Horizons and the Nintendo Switch console, this direct impact from the video game on hardware sales gives tangible evidence of the game’s popularity during Covid. This linked back to the week 2 lecture surrounding a post structuralist approach that explores the broader perspectives, and how attitudes towards a game can change over time. Mckee (2003) points out that “you can’t do anything with a text until you establish its context” in his “Textual Analysis”, with this in mind I offered suggestions on why Covid may have changed players routine, goals or game motives which affects the game’s paratext. I wanted this insight to offer Yidi a different aspect to her topic, so as she explored why Covid affected the games popularity, she could also analyse how Covid changed the games paratext as players and environments variables shifted across the globe. 

I was happy to see that Yidi has taken on my previous suggestion of experimenting with seasonal events in Animal Crossing, which is why I didn’t feel a need to make further suggestions on parts of the game to explore as she already has many important features covered. I also found it easier and more useful to offer suggestions on one aspect of her analysis such as the effect from Covid instead of looking at Animal Crossing as a whole text, that way she could better benefit from my resources. In future it may be more useful to also offer Yidi feedback on some of her DA blog posts, but since I wanted to focus on one aspect I didn’t want to deflect from this goal. 

Resources:

BBC News (2020) “Animal Crossing boosts Nintendo sales”, BBC News

Frandsen, F (2017) “The Impact of Visual Properties on Player Habits and Game Sessions” Uppsala Universitet, Faculty of Arts, Department of Game Design

Massumi, B (2002) “Parables for the Virtual: Movement, Affect, Sensation” Duke University Press

McKee, A (2003) “Textual Analysis: A Beginner’s Guide” First Edition, London, Sage Publications

Mitew, T.E. & Moore, C.L. (2017) “Histories of internet games and play: space, technique, and modality” The Routledge companion to global internet histories. Ed.G. Goggin & M. J. McLelland. London, United Kingdom: Routledge